All done with Ask Mustard. I know not everyone’s question made it into the comic, but she did answere them all. Here are all the questions with the answers:
DarkPheonixMishima asked:
“What are your hobbies Mustard?”
“What’s your favorite sexual position?”
“I need quick money, what should I do?”
Mustard says:
“Hobbies: I’m fucking Danger Girl. I’m sure you can imagine what hobbies I’d have.”
“Sex Position: The Backdoor Mailman and Angry Dog , & Frothy Walrus.”
“Quick Money: Hold up the old ladies when they’re coming out of the bingo hall. Grannies always have tons of cash.”
ShadowTempest47 asked:
“Should I roll a dice for all my choices in a given day?”
Mustard says:
“Are you going to be using 12 sided dice? will your life be Dungeons & Dragons for a day? pfft, nerd.”
CheesemanX asked:
“Bald Eagle, Landing Strip, or Growth Forrest?”
Mustard says:
“I’m just going to go out on a limb & assume you need a landing strip (lights in cluded) to point you in the right direction.”
Rehtael asked:
“Will You be having an outfit change for the new year?”
Mustard says:
“Ask the artist! I’m a question answerer, not a drawer.Although a costume change could be nice.”
ibwalker91 asked:
“Is it wise to trust horoscopes?”
Mustard says:
“when you’re in a bar, asking a girl “hay bb, wuts ur sign?” will NEVER get you laid. EVER.”
Bdoomed asked:
“What is photosynthesis?”
Mustard says:
“Photosynthesis involves wrapping your penis in poison ivy. it’ll help the plant, trust me.”
Jacob Lineback asked:
“If your first name is “Mustard” what is your last name?”
Mustard says:
“Frenches.” (Though according to the comic, it’s Stewart.)
Trentdaily92 asked:
“Will you and balls ever have kids?”
Musatrd says:
“We had a few, but the blender ate them. it’s a touchy subject.”
akaRodger asked:
“So Mustard, what are your thoughts on kids?”
Mustard says:
“Luke, don’t even put a text response, just put a horrified stare from Mustard, & Balls puking into a bucket in the background.”
AMTRAX asked:
“Have you ever considered a career in teaching? You put up with Balls so much that I’m sure you’d do well around kids.”
Mustard says:
horrified stare, puking. No more kids questions.
Matthew Murphy asked:
“Are You In Any Way Related To The Infamous Milkman Pat Mustard From Craggy Island?”
Mustard says:
“No, but interestingly, we both have a lot of exceedingly hairy illegitimate children.”
Gabe Schenk asked:
“how do I get a girlfriend?”
Mustard says:
“Be more like gabe from penny arcade.”
Dylan Outtrim asked:
“How Would you describe your relationship with Luke?”
Musatrd didn’t know if you meant Luke or Balls. But she says:
“Balls : he’s my pimp motherlicker! we go out to clubs where people wee on each other.”
“Luke : I think he’s a nice, modern gentleman. he’s my fuzzy little man peach.”
Sailor Tweek asked:
“What food best describes you?”
“What is your biggest pet peeve?”
Mustard says:
“A taco, or possibly a clam. Any vaginally related food.”
“I HATE babies. It’s possibly beyond pet peeve.”
Burning Aces asked:
“What do you do on a Friday night?”
Mustard says:
“I don’t know, every Friday night for the last five years I’ve been black out drunk.”
Isaac Wilber asked:
“How many people have you killed?”
Mustard says:
“I can’t answer that without a lawyer present.”
Chris Reynoso asked:
“You still pregnant?”
Luke says:
“Seems a lot of folks missed the comic after the pregnancy scare one. It explains that Balls put Human Chorionic Gondotropin in Mustards water, which it the only thing that can fool a pregnancy test with a positive when it’s actually a negative. ref. www.balls2that.com/p/c/00262″
Mustard says:
“I never was. READ CAREFULLY AND LURK MOAR.”
Joron Whitton asked:
“What is your favorite movie genre?”
Mustard asked:
“Horror! A Nightmare On Elm Street is amazeballs. nothing better than a pedophile in a fedora & stylish striped sweater!”
Wicho Pedroza Vazquez asked:
“How do you meet balls?”
Mustard says:
“How do I meet Balls? lrn2english.”
Shane Cawley asked:
“What is the meaning of life?”
Mustard says:
“The answer to the ultimate question, the meaning of life, is 42.”
Death asked:
“Why do you keep saying “No” to Balls? We all know you love eachother.”
Mustard says:
“You’re not death, you’re just a misguided goth. I suggest going to goth2boss or getting scurvy.”
Joshua Greenway asked:
“What is the craziest thing Balls has talked you into doing?”
Mustard says:
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”
Jacob Lineback asked:
“I’m afraid of driving a car, should I get my license?”
Mustard says:
“Get a license, become a trucker. it’s the best life, AND you won’t have to take the PJXT’s!”
Cameron Gietz asked:
“Mustard I am shy when it comes to asking girls out on dates what should I do?”
Mustard says:
“LOTS and LOTS of cocaine.”
JSF16 asked:
“What ever happened to Balls’s other eye?”
Mustard says:
“I shot a harpoon gun at him. the rest is history.”
Charles Pelletier asked:
“What is the nature of your relationship with Balls? (Roommate, friend with benefit, boyfriend/girlfriend)”
Mustard says:
“You are the 200th person to ask this question. your prize is a free punch to the face!”
Nick Barajas asked:
“How did you and balls meet?”
Mustard says:
“Strip club. I didn’t give that other person advice about being a go-go dancer for nothing.”
