As a final project for his Advanced Mechatronics class at Penn State University, this student has taken a couple foam dart launchers, a processor and some wiring and made some magic. Programmed on MATLAB and Arduino, the turret tracks the hideous pink shirt of its creator and executes him with extreme prejudice, all the while spouting the cute/creepy lines we all know and love from the Portal games. Check out the video below

Now if that isn’t a reason to stay in school, I don’t know what is!

The setting of the game is said to be put nearly 1000 years before the events of Elder Scrolls V: Skryim and set more closely to the Oblivion timeline.  While there are still detailed rumors about the game, IGN.com reports that official images and more information will be made in 2012.

In related news, Bethesda also announced that a DLC event for Skyrim, given only under the name of Dawnguard, will be out sometime in the near future.  But don’t expect any further announcements for the downloadable content until sometime around E3 2012.

elderscrollsonline.com

OMFG!! Giveaways!!1!1!!ONE!!1!!!

Follow @TheButtonMash on Twitter, like us on our Facebook page and you could win a signed piece of artwork from Luke McKay when the new site launches at www.TheButtonMash.com

Vancouver Fan Expo

Melissa’s Scorpion cosplay

Ghostbusters of British Columbia

Variety Village - The charity Ghostbusters of B.C. were collecting for.

Reboots Hexadecimal is voice by Shirley Millner. I blame con hangover for messing her name up twice. Sorry Shirley!

Melissa and Shirley Millner

Canadian Videogame Awards

FLuffee!

Standard Action

Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo

The other big winner this year was Eidos-Montreal’s Deus Ex: Human Revolution also taking home 5 awards and beating out Ubisoft-Montreal’s Assassin’s Creed Revelations for Best Console Game.

Assassin’s Creed did take home the award for Best Visual Arts but FIFA Soccer 12 from Electronic Arts won the top honor of Game of the Year and NHL 12 was named the top selling videogame in Canada.

FIFA 12 took home the award for Game of the Year

Full list of all the winners and nominees:

Game of the Year: FIFA Soccer 12 (Electronic Arts)

· Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Ubisoft Montreal

· Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Eidos-Montreal

· FIFA Soccer 12 – Electronic Arts

· Fight Night Champion – Electronic Arts

· Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP – Capybara Games

Best Console Game: Deus Ex: Human Revolution (Eidos-Montreal)

· Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Ubisoft Montreal

· Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Eidos-Montreal

· Dragon Age II – Bioware

· FIFA 2012 – Electronic Arts

· Fight Night Champion – Electronic Arts

Best Game on the Go: Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP (Capybara Games)

· A Space Shooter for Free – Frima Studio

· Assassin’s Creed Recollection – Ubisoft Montreal

· Squibble – MassHabit Games

· Super Stickman Golf – Noodlecake Studios

· Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP – Capybara Games

Best Downloadable Game: Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP (Capybara Games)

· Capsized – Alien Trap Games

· Might and Magic: Clash of Heroes – Cabybara Games

· Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP – Capybara Games

· Swarm – Hothead Games

· Tales From Space: About a Blob – Drinkbox Studios

Best Audio: Deus Ex: Human Revolution (Eidos-Montreal)

· Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Ubisoft Montreal

· Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Eidos-Montreal

· Fight Night Champion – Electronic Arts

· Need for Speed: The Run – Electronic Arts

· Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine – Relic Entertainment

Best Social/Casual Game: Margaritaville Online (Exploding Barrel Games)

· Cranky Cat – March Entertainment

· GreenSpace – RocketOwl Inc.

· Margaritaville Online – Exploding Barrel Games

· Sissy’s Magical Ponycorn Adventure – Untold Entertainment

Best Game Design: Deus Ex: Human Revolution (Eidos-Montreal)

· Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Ubisoft Montreal

· Dead Rising 2: Off the Record – Capcom Vancouver

· Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Eidos-Montreal

· Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP – Capybara Games

· Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine – Relic Entertainment

Best Technology: Your Shape Fitness Evolved 2012 (Ubisoft Montreal)

· Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Ubisoft Montreal

· FIFA Soccer 12 – Electronic Arts

· Just Dance 3 – Ubisoft Montreal

· Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine – Relic Entertainment

· Your Shape Fitness Evolved 2012 – Ubisoft Montreal

Best Visual Arts: Assassin’s Creed Revelations (Ubisoft Montreal)

· Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Ubisoft Montreal

· Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Eidos-Montreal

· Need for Speed: The Run – Electronic Arts

· Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP – Capybara Games

· Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine – Relic Entertainment

Best Writing: Deus Ex: Human Revolution (Eidos-Montreal)

· Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Ubisoft Montreal

· Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Eidos-Montreal

· Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP – Capybara Games

· To the Moon – Freebird Games

· Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine – Relic Entertainment

Best Indie Game: Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP (Capybara Games)

· Capsized – Alien Trap Games

· DLC Quest – Going Loud Studios

· Super Stickman Golf – Noodlecake Studios

· Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP – Capybara Games

· Tales From Space: About a Blob – Drinkbox Studios

Best New Character: Deus Ex: Human Revolution (Eidos-Montreal)

· Deus Ex: Human Revolution (Adam Jensen) – Eidos-Montreal

· Sissy’s Magical Ponycorn Adventure (Sissy) – Untold Entertainment

· Tales From Space: About a Blob (The Blob) – Drinkbox Studios

· Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine (Captain Titus) – Relic Entertainment

· Yeti (Yeti) – Metanet Software Inc.

Best Original Music: Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP (Capybara Games)

· Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Ubisoft Montreal

· Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Eidos-Montreal

· Might and Magic: Clash of Heroes – Cabybara Games

· Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP – Capybara Games

· Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine – Relic Entertainment

Future Shop Gamers’ Choice Award – Top Selling Canadian Videogame: NHL 12 (Electronic Arts)

· Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Ubisoft Montreal

· Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Eidos-Montreal

· FIFA Soccer 12 – Electronic Arts

· NHL 12 – Electronic Arts

Innovation Award: Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP (Capybara Games)

· Battlefield 3 – DICE/Electronic Arts

· Cows vs. Aliens – XMG Studio

· Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP – Capybara Games

· To the Moon – Freebird Games

· Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine – Relic Entertainment

Of course not all gear in the game will drop out of a dead demon’s butt, some of it can in fact be crafted through in-game Blacksmith and Jeweler caravans that can salvage some otherwise useless gear to make some truly epic weapons and armor for your characters. The final option for those of us with the worst luck in the world is a menu based Auction House where anybody can post their extra loot for sale for either the in-game gold currency or real life money. Despite some controversy over the use of a Real Money Auction House, most people seem to be taking a wait and see approach on exactly what kind of impact this will have on the game economy and the gaming world in general.There is no question however that Diablo III will be huge. Blizzard has certainly taken their time crafting this game, and I have no doubt that the years of polish will pay off in the end.

If you’re not aware (which seems unlikely, because it had a big ol’ ball of hype behind it before release), Fez is a platform puzzler in which the player rotates a 3D world 90 degrees at a time to form perspective-tricks to progress. The charm of watching cavernous gaps between platforms disappear with the shift of a camera never seems to diminish over the course of this short adventure.

Fez is clearly channelling old school Nintendo games (a Zelda homage is prominently displayed in the game’s first scene) in its overall design. The plot is sparse, serving merely to get things moving, and from there, it’s up to the player to discover the mechanics and explore the world at their own pace.

The entire experience is a collectathon – there are no enemies to attack, just flora and fauna to observe along the journey. If a pure-platforming experience sounds tiresome, don’t fret, the core perspective-shift mechanic is remixed and subverted enough by the designers that moving from one platform to the next regularly brings its own sense of reward.

Protip: Pay attention when you're in schoolhouses

2D platformers can grate quickly, due to the compounding risk that accrues as one climbs higher up a level, resulting in hair-pulling frustration if a false move near the summit plunges the player back to square one. Fez is exceedingly forgiving – failing a jump results in being restored to the most recent solid ground the player stood on. There are no level restarts, no lives to worry about losing, no distractions away from the core experience of exploring every nook and cranny.

Often, it seems that the only enemy is the player’s own patience. How many doors is one willing to wander through while trying to break new ground? With so many branching paths through the game world, I was rarely far from something new, but in these moments of retreading my footsteps, the lack of direction from the game felt dizzying.

Much of the satisfaction from Fez comes from interpreting the game’s cryptic instruction without any prompts. Sometimes it’s as basic as scanning a QR code with your phone for a button prompt, but it can get quite abstract, communicating with the player through controller vibrations and odd visual cues. The game has its own language that can apparently be deciphered by those with the time and brains to invest (fret not, I was able to complete the main game while being deficient in both). There’s no in-game feature to keep track of your cryptography, so you’ll have to do it old school and break out a pen and paper, further driving home that this is a game that takes its cues from another era.

You may have noticed that I haven’t been terribly specific in this review, but in a game like Fez, where discovery is regularly a reward in itself, highlighting specific examples would only serve to undermine its impact. Read no more about this game and go play it already. This game has captured that old Nintendo magic, but modernised it in a way that alleviates much of the frustrations. Fez is a masterclass in game design, and will be among the best 800 MSP you’ll spend this console generation.

9/10

Second Opinion - Fin

Fez is a game of two halves. The first, as you collect 32 cubes, is amazing. Colourful, playful, intricate, wonderfully designed, it’s a joy to behold. The collectables come thick and fast, there’s more available than required to complete the game, so there’s no issue with leaving some to come back to later.

Once the main game is completed, the problems arise. Suddenly all the collectables skipped appear impossible to obtain. Glyphs, seemingly randomly scattered throughout levels, have meaning, but you wouldn’t know it, as the decryption is hidden in such an obscure way. One puzzle took the entire Fez community nearly a full week to solve, and even then, it was only by brute force.

Puzzle games are generally designed to challenge, then reward through completion. The second half of Fez challenges, but it’s hard to imagine the average player feeling rewarded when they lack the wherewithal to 100% the game unaided..

That said; Fez is still an excellent game, and for 800msp, an amazing experience.

But I haven’t been playing many new games lately. Been playing a lot of Sodoku on my phone.

I would have made a more topical comic, but every webcomic and their mom is making Hunger Games jokes. I liked Battle Royale the first time. I have no need to see it. But Next comic, something topical, something current, maybe even something videogame related. I used to do those all the time. How did I lose my way?

The premise of I Am Alive is promising: the player assumes control of Adam, who has just arrived back in his hometown after a year-long separation from his wife and daughter, brought about by some unspecified cataclysmic occurrence. Players must improvise their way through crumbling ruins, scavenge for supplies, and watch out for the aggressively territorial locals along the way.

Before the search for his family has begun in earnest, Adam gets side-tracked trying to reunite another band of survivors, and eventually commits to being their full-time errand-boy. It’s as if the game has completely forgotten about the objective it spent the first half hour establishing – had it been presented in a more savvy fashion (say, if Adam said something to imply that he no longer believes his family to be alive, and is seeking any diversion from confirming this uncomfortable notion) this would be acceptable, but it’s just another hint that the final version of I Am Alive left the lion’s share of material on the cutting room floor.

The gameplay boils down to two distinct activities. Traversal, and combat. Getting around is mostly done by climbing on various bits of wreckage, and the mechanics involved are a hair more interesting than those it draws inspiration from (think Assassin’s Creed and Uncharted) thanks to the game’s tension-building stamina system. Climbing tires Adam out, and forcing him to climb on an empty tank will cause the amount of stamina you can hold in reserve to decline, resulting in some nerve-wracking calculations during some of the more demanding sections. That said, the tension dissipates once you realize that each section has been designed so that you will just about make it every time. Later in the same, this safety is subverted by climbing-paths that lead to dead-ends, but if you get in the habit of planning ahead, it becomes a rote activity. Every now and again, crummy implementation of game rules, or shoddy signposting will result in death and immense frustration, which had me sick of climbing long before halfway through this short game. A pity consdering that climbing amounts to about 80% of the experience.

Combat is the other necessary survival skill, and by and large, it sucks. The mechanics mean that it plays out as a puzzle, but the controls make carrying out a plan impossible at times. The game trains you to look for layers in the combat that never materialize. Don’t bother trying to think your way out of anything, because it will result in failure. Just repeat the same process every time, “surprise kill” the first guy with a gun, shoot the second gun-carrier, and intimate the remaining dudes with machetes into backing down.

The bullet-scarcity in the game is interesting at first, but pointing an empty gun at an enemy is quickly established as a recipe for failure. Furthermore, once the bow and arrow is unlocked, it’s like having infinite ammo. I reused the same arrow so many times throughout the story that I’m pretty sure my enemies were dying of Hepatitis C rather than the wounds sustained.

There was one instance in the game that I was able to sneak past some enemies – why was that not a core mechanic? The numerous deaths caused by crappy control had me wishing for a way to talk aggressors down (à la Deus Ex), or to barter my cherished supplies for safe passage. The lack of choice means combat is just another activity to endure.

 Bravely, retrying from a checkpoint in I Am Alive is a luxury that must be earned, which fulfills its purpose of keeping tension high, and I applaud the developers for taking the risk. Retries are earned by helping out survivors throughout the world – generally all they need is something from your inventory. Other than the retry, your reward is some awkwardly delivered exposition on the world, but it’s clichéd fluff – talk of “chaos” and botched evacuation, and precious little interesting information.

The game does have the conviction to maintain a bleak tone, evident in the lack of glamour in the character design, and the omission of any hope – it’s five hours of humans being wretched to one another and people dying in quiet corners like wounded animals, which I greatly appreciated. The dynamic score is regularly stirring, easily up to snuff with top-shelf TV fare (any of the songs would fit into an episode of Lost), managing to drive home the dizzying sense of verigo during the climbing sections, and reflecting the hero’s dwindling stamina.

The game does plenty to undo the sense of place – the sense of exploration and immersion while scavenging for supplies takes a swift kick in the nuts by the great big white glow that surrounds pickups, and survivors will robotically stare at you while delivering the same doleful utterances they said last time you passed. Polish issues abound – at one point the game popped up a hint to tell me that I was going the wrong way, when I clearly wasn’t, and I had to use one of my precious retries to dislodge myself from the handrail that Adam refused to stop straddling.

Ultimately, I Am Alive plays like a product that was stripped to the bone to get it out the door, and as fond as I am of how Ubisoft Shanghai have brought us an apocalypse that isn’t insultingly benign, the only thing to do within this world is be frustrated by half-baked mechanics and mull over a stillborn fiction.

5/10

While it was never really mentioned in game, core fans of the series have always known that SSX stands for Snowboard Supercross. Not any more. As part of the semi-reboot that the franchise has undergone with this new iteration, the SSX term has been woven into the storyline of the game as the name for our protagonists. Snowboard Surfing Motocross is the new moniker and the basis of “Team SSX” – whose three founding members (Mac, Zoe and Tane) are legends in their respective sport. In toal nine members come together to take on the nine Deadly Descents that form the core of the single player game-play. Featuring six old familiars and three new characters, Team SSX, lead by Zoe Payne, are in a race against Griff Simmons, who is set up as the villain, to conquer the nine Deadly Descents – nine real world mountain ranges that each feature a unique “boss battle” stage that challenges the player to simply survive their journey down the mountain.

Each mountain peak in the World Tour mode has the same structure: you play as Zoe against one of the other team members to test out their skills in either a Trick It or Race It event. Once you beat the other character, you unlock them and get a brief comic inspired intro to their back-story. You then have two more events to warm up before you do a training version of your specific Deadly Descent before moving on to the real thing. These specially tailored levels includes hazards such as avalanches, pitch dark caves that require a headlamp to see anything and extreme cold, where you must quickly pass through shaded areas in order to warm up in the sunlight.Some challenges work better than others, and while some levels I found easy to win the first time around, there were a handful that left me frustrated for an hour or more as a I struggled to correct my mistakes and capture that one run where everything just clicked. One very nice feature in the game is a Prince of Persia-esque rewind button that allows you to backtrack if you suddenly find yourself flying off into a canyon or bailing on an otherwise magnificent combo streak. This doesn’t come without it’s drawbacks however, the clock keeps ticking in Race It events and you will receive a points penalty in Trick It events while using this option – so be sure to use it sparingly or as a way to explore alternate approaches to the mountain. You also only receive a finite number of rewinds per level and can only rewind a limited (but fairly large) distance before the game stops you. It is a welcome addition to the game and far preferable to constantly restarting a level.

The real meat of the game however is found in its online mode. Similar to the Autolog feature in Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit, you will receive a live stream of the high scores that your friends have achieved in the game. Through the RiderNet interface, you can see your progress on Challenges (in-game achievements essentially) and a list of your Rivals that quickly indicates how many tracks they have completed with a better score than you. You can select a Rival and see a detailed list of each of these events along with their top score vs yours and the option to immediately jump into that event to challenge them.

Online events are split into two categories: Explore and Global Events. Explore mode presents you with a globe to zoom into the nine mountain ranges and select from 138 events, most tracks featuring an option to either Race It or Trick It. There are the traditional developer set times to achieve a Bronze, Silver or Gold ranking as well as a list of the best time/score set by each of your Rivals. If your Rival list is anything like mine, this is where you will find the true competition in the game as everyone vies for the top slot. The great part about this mode is that you don’t have to sit around in a lobby or be online at the same time as your friends to compete with them, their route down the mountain is saved and will show up as a ghost racer along with the Gold, Silver and Bronze times that the developers have posted for themselves. Even if you don’t have many friends that currently play SSX, you will find a suggested list of friends of friends that also play the game to pad out your roster of Rivals. There are also various “Add Me” lists on gaming forums everywhere where you can add masses of other players to your friends list – and unlike Call of Duty you don’t have to worry about trash talking since you are only competing against their scores and not in a live head to head mode.Global Events are set-up as mini tournaments that can last from a couple of hours to a week. These single track events can be entered by anybody to compete on a Global scale, or you can create your own custom tournament that is restricted to friend’s list or extended list. Your final time/score is categorized into 5 different tiers of winners with the top rider in each tier receiving a share of the jackpot. While some events are free to enter, many of them will feature an entry fee in order to take a shot at the grand prize. With one of the initial events offering up a jackpot of 2.7 Billion credits to be divvied up among the five tiers, these are great events to collect some money to buy the myriad of gear you’ll need to compete competitively.

What’s that you say? Credits? Gear? Why yes! This game is actually an RPG in disguise, didn’t I mention that?

Each one of the 10 riders unlocked during the World Tour mode has their own experience bar to level up and unlock new tiers of gear and power-ups that you purchase with the endless credits that you earn while completing events. If you play through the entire Tour mode, you should wind up with most of your characters at level 4 or 5. As you complete events you gain experience to a max level of 10 and as you level up, you get new gear options with increasingly better stats for your boards, armor, wing-suit, etc. At any given time you can view your gear and a list of 4 random items in each category available to purchase with the credits you have accumulated. In addition to the standard gear you can also get Rare, Epic and Legendary versions that can cost quite a bundle. There are 200 different palette swaps for your character’s outfits, plus glowing versions that add a neon glow to your gloves and backpack that can cost hundreds of thousands of credits.In the end though, credits are not very hard to come by. Completing an event will net you between 5 – 50 thousand credits, plus bonuses for collecting Geo-Tags left by your friends, achieving special combos or high speeds, and a bonus every time you beat a Rival’s score. If you focus your progression to just one or two characters, you will quickly have more credits than you know what to do with. Which is why it’s nice that among the gear that you can buy there is also the option to buy consumable Mods that give you a nice stat bonus for the event that you are challenging. As a nice touch, if you restart that event without going back to the main Explore interface (even if you successfully completed the event), you will keep that bonus with you. Certainly it would be torturous to wipe out in the first 30 seconds of the map and have your mods disappear on you.

The graphics in the game are breathtaking as you soar above the mountain tops and all the terrain details add so much to the world. There was never any slow down for me playing on the Xbox 360, no matter how fast I was going or how many crazy tricks I strung together. The 30 music tracks selected for the soundtrack fit very well with the game and though everyone is sure to have a track or two they don’t particularly care for, these are easily turned off in the settings. A really nice feature I have been using however is the ability to create a custom playlist of songs from either the console or streaming from your computer. My SSX soundtrack now consists of over 2000 songs, all of which I know I love.

Overall the game is quite excellent, and while a few tracks may turn your gamer rage crank a little too much, there is plenty to do and see here. SSX is fairly well balanced and though you may get those Gold Medals with only a moderate amount of effort, competing against your Rivals is an excellent incentive to up your game and shave off that extra second from your run down the mountain. This is a great arcade style game that is definitely worth getting if you have even an ounce of competitive spirit in you.

9/10

The developers have described American Nightmare as a side story rather than the full on sequel that is obviously (and unofficially) in development. Despite this, the game does not do a very good job of setting up the universe of Alan Wake and for the first couple hours I had no connection whatsoever to the characters or the world. The game itself is framed as an episode of “Night Springs” – a Twin Peaks/Outer Limits-esque horror mystery show that Alan was a writer for some time ago. Alan finds himself cast as the “Champion of Light” while an evil doppelganger version of himself, Mr. Scratch, taunts him mercilessly through television sets featuring home videos and a trail of dead bodies. For those who have played through both DLC for the original game, you will be pleased to know that the title of this episode is “Return”.

The story of the game is largely played out in stiffly acted cut-scenes and through a gravely voiced narrator who would fit in perfectly as an announcer for Soul Calibur. As an imitation of a cheap late night horror show, it fits right in – but that doesn’t make it any less cringe inducing. The scattered manuscript pages that shine brightly across the landscape fare much better however. Being read aloud by Alan Wake, they tell the story of Mr. Scratch’s activities before Alan arrives from The Darkness, as well as some general back story of the two years since the first game ended. In the end, the game has enough atmosphere and plot that memories of the game give a far greater sense of quality than that of playing the game itself.Much more crucial to the game’s fun is the actual game play of running, shooting and exploring. The game is quite formulaic in this regard and once you get an understanding of how the combat works, you likely won’t find yourself in much trouble. This was another aspect of the game that was only glossed over in the first few minutes of the introduction. Those who have played the original understand exactly what to do, but I found myself wasting plenty of rounds trying to kill an enemy that was somehow immune to my attacks. Essentially, you use your flashlight to illuminate the “Taken” people of Night Springs until they shield their eyes, at which point you can pump them full of lead until they explode into a shower of sparks. There is some variety to the enemies, including spiders than can be killed with light alone and eventually gargantuan bullet sponges, but the pattern generally remains the same. Toss in some flares and flash-bang grenades for good measure in the “Oh Shit” moments and you’ve got yourself a combat system.

You can carry two weapons, 5 of each light-bomb and a flare gun at once, switching between them with the D-pad. Additional weapons can either be found or unlocked from weapon crates after picking up the requisite number of manuscript pages. Ammo and batteries are plentiful and you will rarely find yourself entering a battle without being maxed out, though you can only hold a a very limited number of bullets at a time, allowing the combat situations to be a bit more strategic as you strive not to waste too many bullets. You only have 3 health bars, but a bar will regenerate if you were only partly damaged. Fully lit streetlamps will heal you completely and you generally find one after a large battle anyway. If you do find yourself overwhelmed in combat and die, don’t fret too much. The checkpoint system saves your progress quite frequently and it is a short loading screen away before you are back in the action.The rest of the game entails little to no effort on your part. You follow your mini-map to a gold star and either press B to talk to someone or to activate or pick-up some shiny object that you need. Either right before or after you do this there is a battle and then you follow another gold star and repeat until you finish the chapter and trigger a cut-scene. There are no vehicle sequences like the first game, so you’ll be lumbering about like a Resident Evil player for most of the game. Yes, you can aim and move and shoot all at the same time, but Alan (and the camera) are slow to turn when you find yourself surrounded by Taken and are trying to escape. As there are no random enemies and entering combat is clearly indicated by musical cues, I found myself sprinting from place to place most of the time.

The graphics in the game are fantastic for an Xbox Live Arcade title and the audio quality is equally superb. The only downside of this is that both are reused extensively during the course of the game. The plot of American Nightmare, while working well in the universe of Alan Wake, was obviously crafted with the space limitations of an XBLA game in mind. While I found myself frustrated at times with having to revisit certain locations in what sometimes felt like an excuse to pad out the game, I cannot fault the developers for their clever use of story to accommodate the restrictions put before them. For a full disc based title this would be completely unacceptable, but Metroidvania this game is not.

Aside from the main story, Remedy has also thrown in a survival mode complete with leaderboards for those who want to prove their prowess at the combat system. There are five maps plus Nightmare versions of each to unlock by getting high score gold stars. For the competitive or completionist out there, this is a great feature to add even more game play to an already hefty offering. At 1200 Microsoft Points ($15), there is more than enough content here to warrant the purchase, especially if you are already a fan of the first game. The only problem will be finding the time to play if you are like me and already have a pile of high quality games just waiting for their turn to shine.

It’s a legit rap and to be honest it’s done rather well, it even has some throwback memories about Sabrina and Giovanni, while including a hilarious mention of how hard Whitney’s Miltank was (if you’ve ever played Pokemon Silver or Gold [also seen in SoulSilver, HeartGold, and Crystal] you will know the crushing pain of Rollout).

As a side note, I liked Charizard but I was a Blastoise girl myself. Enjoy the nostalgia.

According to IGN Daily, European gaming powerhouse, Ubisoft, has announced Assassin’s Creed 3 will be released in the near future.  Yves Guillemot, CEO of Ubisoft has stated it is set for a release in late October and “is said to complete the story of Desmond.”  No platforms have been announced, but expect the game to hit shelves for the Xbox 360, PS3, PC and surprisingly enough, the Wii U.

But don’t worry about waiting for so long, fellow gamers, as there have been unconfirmed rumors of a DLC for Assassin’s Creed Revelations to quench your thirst coming soon.  The DLC is said to follow Desmond as he tries to delve his way through the Animus.

And remember: nothing is true; everything is permitted.

A world building game like Civilization or the SimCity series are essentially reinventing themselves every time a new game is released. Having no storyline to tie themselves together, they are a franchise in name and style only. For the most part, the developers, artists and programmers who made the original game in a series such as these have nothing to do with a sequel made 15 years later. A new director is handed over a franchise title from the company that owns the rights to it. A team is built and a general design idea is made to make the basic mechanics of the game relevant to a newer, modern audience. In cases like these, releasing the game as a numbered sequel has more to do with brand recognition and our obsession with ever-higher numbers. The game is a remake; in form if not in title.

Mainstays in the Mario universe follow a similar pattern. Mario Kart, Mario Party and the Smash Bros series all fall into a sporty, mechanics focused type of game-play. New twists on the game mechanics, different levels, characters, etc are simply the ideas of a largely new team of designers (Masahiro Sakurai’s leadership notwithstanding). Most of the core Super Mario Bros. games contain the basic Save the Princess, Save the World plot simply to get it out of the way and allow the graphics and well thought-out power-up systems shine through. There is nothing bad about this, it is a continuous process of refinement as each iteration retools what came before it to satisfy the needs of whatever system and generation it is aimed at.

A game like Metroid Prime however does have a storyline, despite having no dialogue to speak of. The plot of Metroid Prime does continue the tale of Samus Aran in a way that no Mario game ever has. Even though the three original games had little narrative outside of their instruction manuals and a Nintendo Power comic series, the universe was fairly well developed and left plenty for Retro to base their GameCube iteration on. How then can this be considered a remake? In the same way that Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is considered a reboot of the classic title for the Apple II. A new storyline had been included, and plenty of new mechanics had been added to bring the franchise from a 2d side-scroller to a 3d platformer, but the basic concept of the game remained the same. Time had merely allowed these franchises to grow into something that simply was not possible when they were first thought up.

It had been 8 years and two consoles later when Super Metroid’s follow-up came in the form Metroid Prime. Despite early worries and decries of the ruining of a franchise by turning it into a first person shooter, Prime was anything but. Yes the game had a first person view and yes Samus still had her giant gun-arm to shoot things with, but the game-play was the same. Bounding around from place to place, collecting upgrades to armor and weapons and boss battles on a large scale were the hallmarks of the Metroid series and this new team (with some guidance from Nintendo veterans), made what some consider to be the best in the franchise. They understood what made the originals so great, and adapted the bare bones design of the originals and remade it into something that stood its own ground.

Sure, some games that go through a re-imagining are just awful. Nobody wants to play Bomberman Zero and the constant re-imagining of the Sonic series has gone on so long that the franchise has finally come full circle in game design. We need to stop ourselves and take a broader look at how the game industry operates. Endless cries of boredom surrounding new sequels and a desire for original IPs needs to be balanced around the understanding that the advancement of game mechanics is just as important as shiny new graphics and stories. That is a discussion for another time however. Not all sequels are remakes, but what might seem on the surface as simply a cash-in on an old franchise might just in fact be somebody’s bold new interpretation that can spark life into something that may otherwise remain a faded memory.

Dames Making Games, a recently formed Toronto-based initiative, sets to redress this gender imbalance by providing technical and social support to existing and would-be female developers. Co-founder Zoe Quinn said that the goal of it is to make it so that fewer women in the industry have moments where they realize that they’re “the only woman in the room”. Their first major event kicked off on the first of January – a 31 day ‘game jam’, in which ten coding novices created a game from scratch using resources and sagely wisdom from experienced volunteers. The culmination of this undertaking was an exhibition at the end of the month, held at Bento Miso on Richmond Street West.

There was a palpable buzz in the room as the creators hovered over their stations, some anxiously prefacing the attendees’ experiences, others dutifully starting the game and standing back, but the glee on the creators’ faces as they observed others interacting with (and enjoying) the fruits of their labour was apparent.

As a gamer, one of the most encouraging aspects of the evening was witnessing the variety on offer. Genre staples, such as platformers and side-scrolling shoot-em-ups were well represented – but each provided some kind of creative flourish (a personal highlight was the platforming game that defied an age-old convention by making players avoid the expensive-looking collectibles that the protagonist can’t afford).

‘Winter Walk’ was one of the more avant-garde titles, in which players got to choose a path through a wintery scene in a snowy wood. The game is made up of over 250 photographs, and set to a gentle ambient soundtrack that reinforces the sense of isolation. The developer told me that she was inspired to create the game after a lifetime of looking at beautiful photographs and wishing she could inject herself into the picture for a fuller appreciation of the surroundings. She is currently looking into making a platform with which other shutterbugs can easily create similar adventures without any coding knowledge.

Despite their status as first-time devs, each work displayed a staggering amount of ambition, not only in their approach to conjuring up original artwork, music and sound-effects, but also with where they’ll go next. A few of the women referred to their work as prototypes for much bigger projects. The creator of ‘Toy’, a point-and-click adventure about a mislaid child’s plaything, laid out her plan for an epic branching tale that taxes player agency, as they will ultimately get to decide whether to reunite with the child, or continue to adventure alone (spoilers!).

I’m a game-consumer, not a maker, and at the start of the night, I was rather intimidated by what these novices had managed to pull off in the course of a month. As I talked to more and more people, I realized that I was not witnessing the effects of some dark magicks, just the fruits of some hard work and a great support network. Despite not being the target demographic for Dames Making Games, I couldn’t help but be inspired.

Dames Making Games is a subset of the Hand Eye Society, a (very open and welcoming) community that supports indie developers in Toronto with all manner of social and skill-building events. If you’d like a chance to check out the Dames’ games, they’ll be made available on their website in the coming days, or at their event in Toronto this Saturday, February 18th.

[Photos Courtesy of Dames Making Games]

We will find out soon enough I suppose, we only have a few more months until Max Payne 3 is released on Xbox 360 and PS3 on May 15, with the PC version coming two weeks later on May 29. Here’s hoping that Max’s comeback to video games is a bit more successful than his recent film release.

I consider myself somewhat of a social media gentlewoman, as I have partaken in numerous sites, fads, and I am generally in the know when it comes to the newest social sharing platforms. So when mention of a random thing called “Pinterest” (Rhymes with interest) began circling my social networks, I was baffled why I had not heard of it sooner.

It turns out it wasn’t just me; several of my technology and internet friends have also questioned what this website was, how it worked, and how on earth did it sneak by us all? Pinterest is comprised of visual bulletin boards, where you can find photos and blogs of things you like and “pin” them to your board, or find “pinners” who have already made boards and browse their finds instead. It’s essentially a social media network made up of photos, kind of like a profile of only Twit Pics. The photos represent anything from articles, how-to’s, tricks and tips, advice, recipes, do it yourself projects, crafts, and geek comics and humour. There is literally everything under the sun available, all shared by people just like you in an easy and visually organized format.

Time Magazine rated it one of the “50 Best websites of 2011” article, and in December 2011 it was rated one of the Top 10 Social Networks and it has only been around for a little less than 2 years. So how did I not know about it!

Signing Up

The first time I decided to try Pinterest I went to its website at www.Pinterest.com where I proceeded to make an account so I can start. Apparently the website is invite only, and there is a waiting list of one day to 1 week long to get your account. I then learned that current Pinterest users could send an invitation to my e-mail so I could sign up immediately, eliminating the hassle of waiting on the list. I got my invitation and started my account.

Getting Started

You are asked to log in with Facebook before you get started, this is super easy and makes registration a snap, you also have the option to disconnect from Facebook and alter any options through the Settings link in your account drop down menu. Once you’re set with an account, you’re asked to select boxes representing different topics you like: clothing, humour, animals, technology, geek culture, etc. You can pick as many or as few as you like, which will let Pinterest know what things you find the most interesting, so they can pick Pinners for you to follow based on your interests. You can unfollow these Pinners if you want at anytime as well, this gives you the option to browse the most recent things your followers have pinned.

You will then be asked to create your boards. It gives you 5 pre-named boards with a list of popular named boards on the right hand side. This can seem overwhelming; I recommend starting with as few boards as possible so you can get the hang of it without being bombarded with confusing boards. I started with 3 boards called: Funny, Clothing & Hair, and Tech & Geek. Don’t worry, you can edit the names of your boards as well as add and delete boards as you see fit.

You will see a screen with a “Pin it” button on it, this can be dragged into your bookmark bar or favourites so you can pin things while you browse your favourite websites. This allows you to pin photos, videos, and links to articles right from your browser into your Pinterest account!

How to Find Pins

You have 5 main areas of searching: Pinners You Follow, Everything, Videos, Popular, and Gifts.

Pinners You Follow – This is your default page. These showcase all the pinners Pinterest added to your account based on your interests when you first started.  Under each Pin (the photo) you can see who pinned it, what board of theirs they pinned it to, and the description or comment. You can also see who on your Facebook page has a Pinterest account, and follow them as well. You can do this by going to the right hand side of the screen and click on your profile photo, Find Friends, and you will see two options: Invite Friends (this allows you to invite people on your Facebook friends list to Pinterest) and Friends on Pinterest. Clicking Follow will put these friends into your Pinners You Follow feed so you can see what things they like!

Everything – You can click on this link to open up every individual category Pinterest has, anywhere from Home Décor to Kids and Technology. Doing this will filter all the pins to that category only, so if you’re really looking for some cool recipe ideas, you can search the Food and Drink boards of other pinners!

Videos – These are popular videos that people have posted. There is no search feature right now, but you can browse by looking at the descriptions underneath.

Popular – This is the unofficial best way to start pinning. The Popular board is where I suggest new pinners start; this is a page that holds the most popular and re-pinned items from everyone on Pinterest. New pins appear by the second, so refresh the page once you get to the bottom to see more brand new pins!

Gifts – These are pins that feature things you can buy; either by stores, or pinned by consumers who have found products they love. If you love to shop online, you can search by dollar amounts and leaf through all the cool gift ideas.

Pinning

Each Pin gives you three options: Repin, Like, and Comment.

Like and Comment work the same as Facebook, while Repin lets you pin this image to your own board. Anything you like and want to add to your own collection you would repin. Once you click repin, a window appears and lets you select a board you have created, or make a new board. It also gives you the option to fill in a description, and add it to your Facebook wall or Twitter Timeline, if you have these hooked up through Settings in your profile. Click Pin and the image will automatically be put into the board you chose. You can view your boards anytime by clicking on your account photo on the top right hand side.

How to Take Full Advantage of the Wonders Inside Pinterest

1. Make multiple boards

I told you earlier I started with 3 boards; those 3 boards blossomed into 6 then 9 then my current 12 board spread. I started with broad boards; each board featured several different categories which I quickly found very confusing. I began to separate the categories, making one per board, using specific names so other pinners could tell what was inside. The more specific the board the easier it is to classify and find pins you may have forgotten about, plus the more general the board the more cluttered it becomes very fast.

1. Search  Every Category

I quickly noticed the Popular link was overrun with the same 3 or 4 topics, and with dozens to choose from it’s easy to forget they exist. I make a habit of searching the Popular page first, then going to the Everything link and clicking each category to let me see the most popular pins in that area which may not ever appear on the Popular page. You will find some awesome pins in these categories that may cater to your interests, as well as pins you might not otherwise have discovered or known you liked.

1. Click the Pins

Each Pin isn’t just a photo or image; some are links to a blog or webpage with more or similar information and fun stuff. Most of the time the photo is taken from a website that offers instructions, photos, videos, or more of the same thing you may like. If you see something cool, click the image and it may show you how to make it, or how to do it. Who knows, the webpage may be something that you explore yourself!

1. Edit the Category of Your Board

While each of your boards may have a name, you have to assign a category to each individual board, so that other pinners can easily search to find your cool finds. You can do this by clicking your profile photo and clicking Edit on each board, and selecting a category from the drop down menu to assign one to that board. This makes it easier for others to find, and keeps things organized!

1. Link Your Social Media Accounts

The best part about Pinterest as a social media site, is sharing your pins and boards with others. I recommend following your Facebook friends on Pinterest, but did you know you can actually post your finds directly to your Facebook wall or Twitter feed? If you go to Settings and click Link to Twitter and Link to Facebook, you will then have the option to post to your social sites when you repin. This lets those who may not have an account know about the pin, as well as directing traffic to your account so they can check it out. You also have the option of hiding your profile from search engines, adding a personal website to your profile

In this weeks podcast we learn what kind of porn Melissa likes, what kind of T.V. show’s Luke likes and our minds are blow by the response to the Steamfunk kickstarter.

Melissa’s bunny rabbit Awwwwwww

Mass Effect 3 demo to be unveiled February 14th

Steamfunk Kickstarter

Geekin-out.com - Side Note: This is the episode Kevin was a guest on!

Reboot

Sherlock

Maddy’s message on SOPA blackout day

Scooby Doo porn parody – No I’m not going to link it, I’ve polluted my search history enough searching for topics discussed on The Button Mash. The Google ads are getting… weird.

Balls 2 That is back! Wednesday and Friday, here is the first one of the new year.

Lukeipedia

Simple English Wikipedia

Resident Evil 6 Official Trailer

My favorite part about that trailer? The November 20th, 2012 release date! It is rare indeed for a company to announce and release a blockbuster game in the same year. I for one will not miss the endless drizzle of screenshots, waiting three years from announcement to ship. (I’m looking at you Diablo 3!)

In addition to a full numbered iteration, also being released February 7th is Resident Evil: Revelations, a 3DS title featuring Jill Valentine. Only a few weeks later on March 20th we will see Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City, a third person shooter for the PS3 and Xbox 360  that brings a squad-based approach to the classic zombie killing gameplay. On the movie front, Resident Evil: Damnation will be a CGI sequel to 2008′s Resident Evil: Degeneration and is planned for release sometime in 2012, though I wouldn’t be surprised to see this one pushed back considering that the fifth live action film, Resident Evil: Retribution, is slated for release on September 14th.

Just imagine, three games and two movies all in the same year. So when is the MMO going to be announced?

Balls 2 That

Skyrim

Christopher Plummer

Morgan Freeman

Epic Pie Time

Melissa in her Scorpion cosplay

Mass Effect 3

Diablo 3

Boobs, Bad Games and Misogyny

Amanda’s article: Top 10 Video Game Characters I Would Love to Take Home

Skyrim: 2012

I couldn’t find the article about a guy who punched a bear in the nose but I did find this article about a woman who punched a bear in the nose to save her dog…

Tribes Ascend Beta

Ninja Fishing

Knuckles Dawson on podcast #2

Head over to the Steamfunk kickstarter to donate and help Luke and Eric bring you more amazing Steamfunk comics. Check back here on Good-Game-Media.com or follow us on Twitter: @GoodGameMedia and Facebook: fb/GoodGameMedia to be notified of the next screencast.

To hear more about Steamfunk and other stories from Luke McKay and the GGM crew tune into The Button Mash Podcast here on GGM.

No no, finish drooling. I’ll wait.

Good?

Alright then. Go check out the Hyrulecraft FAQ over at GenGAME’s website and go try it out!

All done with Ask Mustard. I know not everyone’s question made it into the comic, but she did answere them all. Here are all the questions with the answers:

DarkPheonixMishima asked:
“What are your hobbies Mustard?”
“What’s your favorite sexual position?”
“I need quick money, what should I do?”

Mustard says:
“Hobbies: I’m fucking Danger Girl. I’m sure you can imagine what hobbies I’d have.”
“Sex Position: The Backdoor Mailman and Angry Dog , & Frothy Walrus.”
“Quick Money: Hold up the old ladies when they’re coming out of the bingo hall. Grannies always have tons of cash.”

ShadowTempest47 asked:
“Should I roll a dice for all my choices in a given day?”

Mustard says:
“Are you going to be using 12 sided dice? will your life be Dungeons & Dragons for a day? pfft, nerd.”

CheesemanX asked:
“Bald Eagle, Landing Strip, or Growth Forrest?”

Mustard says:
“I’m just going to go out on a limb & assume you need a landing strip (lights in cluded) to point you in the right direction.”

Rehtael asked:
“Will You be having an outfit change for the new year?”

Mustard says:
“Ask the artist! I’m a question answerer, not a drawer.Although a costume change could be nice.”

ibwalker91 asked:
“Is it wise to trust horoscopes?”

Mustard says:
“when you’re in a bar, asking a girl “hay bb, wuts ur sign?” will NEVER get you laid. EVER.”

Bdoomed asked:
“What is photosynthesis?”

Mustard says:
“Photosynthesis involves wrapping your penis in poison ivy. it’ll help the plant, trust me.”

Jacob Lineback asked:
“If your first name is “Mustard” what is your last name?”

Mustard says:
“Frenches.” (Though according to the comic, it’s Stewart.)

Trentdaily92 asked:
“Will you and balls ever have kids?”

Musatrd says:
“We had a few, but the blender ate them. it’s a touchy subject.”

akaRodger asked:
“So Mustard, what are your thoughts on kids?”

Mustard says:
“Luke, don’t even put a text response, just put a horrified stare from Mustard, & Balls puking into a bucket in the background.”

AMTRAX asked:
“Have you ever considered a career in teaching? You put up with Balls so much that I’m sure you’d do well around kids.”

Mustard says:
horrified stare, puking. No more kids questions.

Matthew Murphy asked:
“Are You In Any Way Related To The Infamous Milkman Pat Mustard From Craggy Island?”

Mustard says:
“No, but interestingly, we both have a lot of exceedingly hairy illegitimate children.”

Gabe Schenk asked:
“how do I get a girlfriend?”

Mustard says:
“Be more like gabe from penny arcade.”

Dylan Outtrim asked:
“How Would you describe your relationship with Luke?”

Musatrd didn’t know if you meant Luke or Balls. But she says:
“Balls : he’s my pimp motherlicker! we go out to clubs where people wee on each other.”
“Luke : I think he’s a nice, modern gentleman. he’s my fuzzy little man peach.”

Sailor Tweek asked:
“What food best describes you?”
“What is your biggest pet peeve?”

Mustard says:
“A taco, or possibly a clam. Any vaginally related food.”
“I HATE babies. It’s possibly beyond pet peeve.”

Burning Aces asked:
“What do you do on a Friday night?”

Mustard says:
“I don’t know, every Friday night for the last five years I’ve been black out drunk.”

Isaac Wilber asked:
“How many people have you killed?”

Mustard says:
“I can’t answer that without a lawyer present.”

Chris Reynoso asked:
“You still pregnant?”

Luke says:
“Seems a lot of folks missed the comic after the pregnancy scare one. It explains that Balls put Human Chorionic Gondotropin in Mustards water, which it the only thing that can fool a pregnancy test with a positive when it’s actually a negative. ref. www.balls2that.com/p/c/00262″

Mustard says:
“I never was. READ CAREFULLY AND LURK MOAR.”

Joron Whitton asked:
“What is your favorite movie genre?”

Mustard asked:
“Horror! A Nightmare On Elm Street is amazeballs. nothing better than a pedophile in a fedora & stylish striped sweater!”

Wicho Pedroza Vazquez asked:
“How do you meet balls?”

Mustard says:
“How do I meet Balls? lrn2english.”

Shane Cawley asked:
“What is the meaning of life?”

Mustard says:
“The answer to the ultimate question, the meaning of life, is 42.”

Death asked:
“Why do you keep saying “No” to Balls? We all know you love eachother.”

Mustard says:
“You’re not death, you’re just a misguided goth. I suggest going to goth2boss or getting scurvy.”

Joshua Greenway asked:
“What is the craziest thing Balls has talked you into doing?”

Mustard says:
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

Jacob Lineback asked:
“I’m afraid of driving a car, should I get my license?”

Mustard says:
“Get a license, become a trucker. it’s the best life, AND you won’t have to take the PJXT’s!”

Cameron Gietz asked:
“Mustard I am shy when it comes to asking girls out on dates what should I do?”

Mustard says:
“LOTS and LOTS of cocaine.”

JSF16 asked:
“What ever happened to Balls’s other eye?”

Mustard says:
“I shot a harpoon gun at him. the rest is history.”

Charles Pelletier asked:
“What is the nature of your relationship with Balls? (Roommate, friend with benefit, boyfriend/girlfriend)”

Mustard says:
“You are the 200th person to ask this question. your prize is a free punch to the face!”

Nick Barajas asked:
“How did you and balls meet?”

Mustard says:
“Strip club. I didn’t give that other person advice about being a go-go dancer for nothing.”

Both Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 have lead to the impending invasion of earth by the Reapers. They have invaded earth in Mass Effect 3, and Commander Shepard must procure the galaxy’s safety for the last time in the ultimate showdown between good and evil.

New features

Bioware boasts several game changing features with their newest addition to their franchise, including improved graphics and animations, modifications to weapons and armour, a multiplayer mode and “Better with Kinect” voice control utility.

The Xbox 360 version of the game will team up with the Kinect using “Better with Kinect” letting players interact with their game using voice commands. This allows better functionality for communicating with other players and characters, giving commands, and selecting weapons or abilities in lieu of opening up a control panel and menu in-game.

Using the Kinect for voice integration admits a more seamless game play allowing for convenience and ease of use, much like the PC version in which players could use macro keyboard shortcuts to instruct and select weaponry without ever having to open up their game’s menu.

Another new feature is the creation of a brand new co-op multiplayer mode, to breathe longevity into the game as well as letting Mass Effect catch up to other industry favourites like Bungie’s Halo, who have already taken advantage of the multiplayer demand.

Multiplayer mode is available through console and PC versions, where players can battle to regain Reaper control from main territories throughout the missions. The ability to form squads, pick your race and class, and merge artillery and powers together with your teammates, ultimately alters the solo player campaign and the choices you can make.

Soundtrack/Music

Bioware has stated that they wanted the game’s soundtrack to play a big part in how the game is experienced by players, since music can directly affect how the player feels. The soundtrack is comprised of Golden Globe, Emmy, and notable movie and video game score composers, both new to the series and rejoining for the final battle. Composers include: Clint Mansell (Black Swan, The Wrestler, Requiem for a Dream), Christopher Lennertz (Horrible Bosses, Mass Effect 2: Overlord, Mass Effect 2: Lair of the Shadow Broker, Metal of Honor), Cris Velasco (God of War series, Mss Effect 2: Kasumi, Mass Effect 2: Arrival), Sam Hulick (Mass Effect, Mass Effect: Bring Down the Sky, Mass Effect 2), and Sacha Dikiciyn (TRON: Evolution, Mass Effect 2: Kasumi, Mass Effect 2: Arrival).

Demo and Release

The demo set to be released February 14th is said to house about 1-2 hours of single player content, while it’s multiplayer portion offers 2 maps and will be active for players looking to get their cooperative hands dirty February 17th. The full version of the game available on Xbox 360, PS3, and PC is March 6th.

Read more about Commander Shepard in my article: Top 10 Video Game Characters I Would Love to Take Home

Sources

http://www.computerandvideogames.com/332714/mass-effect-3-pc-specs-revealed/

http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/technology/mass-effect-3-a-closer-look/2012/01/18/gIQAXKjk8P_story.html

Good Game Media was particularly excited to see that the game takes place on the west coast and in the trailer Randall is revealed to be standing on a Vancouver road sign. It’s not everyday a game is set in Canada and looks like this one could be set in our home town! I guess it might be time to break out the Good Game Media zombie plan.

Deadlight will be appearing on Xbox 360 summer 2012.

Official Deadlight Teaser Trailer

This is how the internet could be if Americans don’t do their duty as leaders and citizens in a free world. Inform your leaders that SOPA could fatally damage a free and open internet, threaten freedom of speech, and harm hundreds of sites just like this one.

Please contact your officials and sign the petition to end piracy, not liberty.

Madison Humphrey
Owner and Director of Content
Good Game Media inc.

An Ubisoft spokesperson told Game Informer “Unfortunately, we haven’t found the right formula for success for the talented team there. We thank our Vancouver team for their hard work and the projects that they have delivered.”

While there is no indication that the reason for Ubisoft’s departure has anything to do with the market conditions, it’s no secret that the Vancouver is becoming a tougher sell. Especially when compared against the tax breaks offered in Montreal which is now home to a quarter of the companies operating in Canada.

Another large publisher’s decision to shut down it’s studio in Vancouver reflects a shift in the market. While larger companies are reducing staff there has been a surge in indie game development and the entrepreneurial spirit in Vancouver is alive an well. Vancouver’s vibrant digital media sector is a welcome home to smaller studios and developers who are creating for multiple platforms such as XBLA, Facebook, Apple’s iOS and Google’s Android.

The future still looks bright for Vancouver’s digital game sector and being one of the most livable cities in the world, I’d encourage anyone looking for a start in the industry to consider it as an option.

Do you have a question for Mustard? Write her at: askmustard@balls2that.com

Balls 2 That – Ask Mustard

Let me Google that for you

Google, Amazon, Twitter and Facebook consider ‘nuclear’ the option

Be a HERO and Help STOP SOPA Now!! (Video Kyle was talking about)

No SOPA Google Chrome Plugin

MLG drops all domains from GoDaddy for their support for SOPA

 Arby ‘n’ The Chief

Soul Calibur Lego

Evo Championship Series

Ezio auditore di firenze in Soul Calibur 5

Top 10 Video Game Characters I Would Love To Take Home by Amanda Murphy

Geekin-out.com Episode: 3 Sammich or GTFO!

Game Transfer Phenomenon

Rehabtronics: A video game joystick that can help stroke patients recover motor skills

Fan Expo Vancouver

SWTOR: Dancing makes you invincible so /getdown!

Brewsters

Gabe Newell, President of Valve also said that the company is “preparing for the launch of the Big Picture UI mode, which will allow gamers to experience Steam on large displays and in more rooms of the house.”  The feature, which was first announced at GDC almost a year ago will see Steam become far more accessible with full controller support and a new, clean UI that will allow for a console-like, couch based gaming experience.

10. Marth – Fire Emblem

Now I struggled a little with this one as I couldn’t decide between Marth and Roy (the Ginger), and now that I think about it a little harder I bet if I took either home it would be considered some kind of felony considering they look like they’re in grade 10. Although you have to admit men in uniform look better than stained beaters and old Crocs.

9. Sephiroth – Final Fantasy VII

Sometimes it’s good to be bad, and I bet Sephiroth is REAL bad – and all the girls love it (minus, you know, Aerith). You have to admit for a villain he certainly has his demonic tortured soul look down – complete with his fallen angel, one wing situation. Despite his kind of weird, Edward Scissor Hands hair style, his blonde hair, light eyes and uncanny androgynous bone structure screams: “I used to be a nice guy until I got hurt too many times.”

8. Venom – Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2

Ya, his teeth are kind of scary and his nails are like, well, daggers and you would probably want to stay away from any kind of kinky rough and tumble with him, but look at his body! Let me break it down for you; woman love bad boys. Especially bad boys who are in 5 times better shape than the hero. There is something to be said when Venom looks like he pumps iron every day while Peter Parker looks content with results from his weekly spin class gossiping about hair products and science. But really, if you need additional proof why I picked Venom – look at his tongue. Exactly.

7. Dante – Devil May Cry 4

Dante is one of the ultimate anti-heroes, heroes who do good deeds for selfish reasons or cliché things like revenge. Sure he kills demons and saves the world but he doesn’t really give a shit about that, he just does it to avenge his dead mom and crazy brother. I like that. Plus I’m a sucker for light eyes, and while they may kind of have, er, luminescent-like qualities, they’re still blue and that counts. They also come in handy when you left your flashlight at the last demon-infested dark cavern, and you need to drunkenly open your front door at 3am.

6. Tidus – Final Fantasy X

Not going to lie, I always kind of had a crush on Tidus. The original Zanarkand beach bum, his blonde hair and blue eyes make women melt – after they question his sexuality. His clothing choice may not be much to look at aside from his hairless chest, but I’m sure after fiddling with the mass amount of clasps and buckles, those weird, convertible shorts will look better on my floor, amirite?

5. Ezio – Assassin’s Creed II

He may be super old and dead now, but when you play as Ezio you’re very aware “hey this guy does not look like a Mario Brother”. I don’t normally go for Italians but this is one I can really get behind (hiyooo). Technically you don’t see his full face but his sexy 5’O clock shadow, nice lips and olive skin leave me saying “oh my what big hand daggers you have.”

4. Commander Shepard – Mass Effect 3

While Shepard seems like a bit of an ass, well, actually he’s just an ass. Sadly a lot of women are attracted to men who treat others badly with a small glimmer of hope that maybe they will be looked fleetingly at by a hot man who defeated Saren. Yes he defeated evil, yes that kind of helps you out, so it’s natural to be attracted to this idiot. I didn’t say I wanted to sit down and have a chat about the state of politics in Citadel with him.

3. Chris Redfield – Resident Evil 5

Ok so he may be a little empty between the ears, that’s not the place I’m worried about. Chris looks like his father was a brick wall and his mother was a Semi, and they had a very broad, rippling, muscular child. Complete with bedroom eyes and perma-zombie-killing-scowl, Chris embodies the stereotypical man’s man that creates unrealistic stereotypes and mass inferiority complexes for men everywhere. Plus it looks like if you touch him you’d burn your fingers, but it would be worth it.

2. Nathan Drake – Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception

HELLO Nathan Drake. He looks like a cross between Gerard Butler (HELLO), Jeffrey Dean Morgan (HELLO) and David Boreanaz (meh). Gritty, adventuresome, Drake must have a million stories to woo women with on a first encounter. Designed as the ‘every-man’, Drake represents a down to earth, realistic man who is not overly sterioded up (I’m looking at you Chris), and not super flawless – as he stumbles around sometimes like how I am when I drink Jager. Drake is the kind of guy you would find at your grocery store, buying lots of ham and whatever else was on sale – items that would not make you believe he fancies expensive cheeses and owns a yacht. This normality is something women crave, and is why he is #2.

1. Link – Twilight Princess

Anyone who knows me knows that this is an obvious answer. Clearly nobody else would be in my top #1. I understand link is 17 and I would be arrested, but I’d like to think in Twilight princess he’s at least 18, preferably 26 as he lives on his own….in a tree. Link is the epitome of a hero: he’s got selfless reasons for doing things, he risks his life to save others, he never once complains, and he’s satisfied with the same tired excuse to rescue the same girl who isn’t giving it up. Link’s face is cute in a perfect Elvish way, and his earrings make him a little more badass… what? I like guys who are pierced. Again, he’s blonde and blue eyed, and I don’t even mind that his hair is better than mine. While he’s not super huge, he can still lift and carry a metal shield and sword; and you know he’s got to be accurate with his hookshot.

Kevin and Maddy talk about things such as the Masturbate-a-thon and Kyle tells an embarrassing story about his experiences with a Tranny… Don’t worry there is also lots of talk about video games.

Cintiq tablets

The 3D game Maddy was talking about. Shattered Horizon

Gabes article on the Ocean Marketting debacle

Masturbate-a-thon (don’t worry this is just the Wikipedia article.)

Mayan calender doomsday predictions explained

Balls 2 That

Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo

Black Friday migrating to Canada

Woman pepper sprays 20 people to get an Xbox

Blackberry get $ 1.7 million in playbooks stolen

Starfront Collision

Bastion Narrator invades other video games

Geek Chic

Razer’s Xbox 360 arcade stick

Xplornet This was Maddy’s microwave ISP. Much like Ocean Marektting they couldn’t spell their company name right either.

Epic Spell Wars of the Battle Wizards: Duel at Mt. Skullzfyre

Slippery slope game mechanic

The Girl Geek: Myths and Stereotypes Roundhouse Kicked in the Bawls

Well then boy do I have a deal for you!

The King of Games is releasing a 25th Anniversary Limited Edition T-Shirt to celebrate the beloved franchise. Featuring a custom designed logo with the Hylian Shield, Master Sword and whole lot of attention to detail, the shirt is being made in either black or green varieties. The company is taking pre-orders for the shirt until Feb 20, 2012 and will begin shipping them out in early May. This will be a one time run only for those who pre-order the t-shirt. To top it all off, the shirt is shipped in a special Gold Edition box! The factory where these boxes are printed is in fact the same factory where Famicom boxes where made in the 80s and 90s.If Zelda is not your style (shame on you!) or if you want to own even more custom Nintendo shirts (oh, well that’s OK) then you can check out the other offerings at King of Games including Dr. Mario, Super Mario Kart and even Ice Climber! All of them hand made, officially licensed and approved by game creators themselves.

Pierce Brosnan Bond tank chase in Golden Eye

Japanese Capsule Hotel

The boat Maddy rode on in the Amazon. It’s name is ‘Siempre Adelante’ (Always Forward)

The Hungry Cyclist

The Hobbit trailer

Fan Expo Vancouver

Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo

Bawls energy drink

Why Protect IP / SOPA will break the internet [video info graphic]

Some info on the risks EA is taking with SWTOR

The Nuzlocke Challenge

Gotham City Impostors

The Dark Knight Rises trailer

Prometheus trailer

Working for a video game company the last year and a half (almost), it should be appropriate that I make a “Top 10 of 2011” games list due to my apparent love of all games. However, it has come to my attention this year marks a record year I have barely picked up a single game to play. I blame myself.

So in a last ditch effort I’ve decided to complete the review “The Top 10 Games of 2011” only I’ll review them based on what I’ve heard and/or the box art or something. Don’t worry; we’ll get through this together. Without further adieu, I present to you my top 10 list of games I haven’t played yet, or kind of played, or basically played – almost.

10. Bastion

This is on my list as number 10 pretty much because I’ve never heard of it in my life. The box art shows a kind of crudely drawn, anime type boy looking menacingly over a cliff with what looks to be some kind of hammer. He has white hair so I’m assuming it’s just trying to be edgy or he is in fact, very old.

The screenshots look like some kind of RTS layout, looked at from a bird’s eye view. The game says it’s an RPG about a boy and his hammer and all kind of trouble, or what I would call, a typical Saturday night, amirite?!

Apparently you meet a stranger who looks identical to you, only with a bad ass hulk Hogan mustache, and you collect some objects and magical potions it looks like. This actually reminds me a lot of this game I played as a kid, but I forget the name of it because it wasn’t very good.

I rate this game 2 Thor’s hammers out of 5 Odin’s, because the interview with the creative team looks like a cozy little crew I may pretend I have met simply for the fact no one will know who they are and question it.

9. L.A. Noire

This is by Rockstar, and apparently it was a long time in the works. I’ve heard mixed reviews, some day that it is an absolute stroke of genius where each character has a ‘tell’ and you can actually play sleuth.

Then I’ve heard that it seems a bit like World of Warcraft, where apparently everyone is collecting the same shit over and over, the head of this guy, 5 feathers, etc. It gets really monotonous and tedious being stuck in the same kind of “let’s solve this mystery! No, this one! Now this one!” mentality over and over.

It’s set in some kind of 40’s or 20’s backdrop (my history teacher is shaking his head), something film noir-ish anyway, where they wore those Dick Tracy hats and didn’t have as much Roger Rabbit.

I’m actually not sure what the plot is about, but because it’s Rockstar I’m rightly assuming that it’s about killing hookers and listening to Flock of Seagulls while running over people… while solving mysteries?

8. Portal 2

Portal 2 is the successor to Portal, and if not then it certainly goes for that mantra with the name. Portal was about using a gun that shoots time holes into objects so you could warp into rooms and stuff. Also I think you’re escaping a lab, and they have some cake you’re not allowed to have. And apparently it’s a lie. I only know this because the Portal song was in my ex-boyfriend’s Rock Band game and I was forced to sing it once.

As a sequel (if it is) you’re probably escaping the same lab, or something pretty similar to it again, or some kind of scenario where you find yourself needing to warp places. I’ve seen a lot of memes online where pictures of people misusing the portal gun ended up in mass hilarity and I’ll be honest I never played the first one so they all go over my head.

7. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

So this game is the jock’s version of geeking out. This game is what dumb men play when they don’t know how to use a rubrics cube properly, or hold a gun in real life. If they do, then this game is the jock equivalent to the game Magic: The Gathering by the simple fact everyone playing is not an actual geek.

I’m assuming this game is like all the other COD games, and you’re helping your army group/base/team infiltrate multiple curiously similar locales, while trying to not get shot and/or help your group/base/team get to the end/capture the flag/pass the baton/duck duck goose your way through to the goal/end.

I know this game is an LOL online and most jocks use it to shit talk 12 year olds while laughing into their discount canned beer. Sometimes I imagine that if we ever were invaded, the world’s supply of chubby, albino, and pre-pubescent teens would take us to a solid victory.

6. Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception

Ok so I have legitimately played a bit of this game, or at least one of them. Basically the issue here is you are Drake Uncharted (joke) and you are some kind of investigator or illegal smuggler or something, and your old partner used you as a scapegoat to steal something valuable and blame it on you. Oh wait that was the second one, but it still counts because it creates back-story (see what I did there?).

So in this one I’m sure some guy played you as a bitch and you’re trying to avenge yourself from your apparent deception, or try to steal/find something while going on missions to discreet and dangerous areas of the world. It seems as though the game starts with a firey… Zeppelin crash (?) plane, hot air balloon?, which Drake must chart his way out of. The actual game-play for the little time I have played is kind of fun I’ll admit because you get tossed into some cool scenarios and the cut scenes are pretty rad. This game was really highly regarded when it came out and people were really excited when it did come out, so that counts for something.

5. Star Wars: The Old Republic

So this game is basically World of Warcraft only with sci-fi nerds instead of fantasy ones. So instead of a Jamaican Troll you get to pick a Jedi, and instead of a faction like Horde or Alliance you can pick the Jedi side or the Darth Vader side. I’m sure the same dudes will be wandering around with big yellow question marks over their head as per usual MMORPG.

This game got the nerds really pumped, and all I heard for a while was “what race will you be” or “what side are you going with?” or “you’re a pussy bitch, Jedi is dumbshit!” of course I’m paraphrasing.

The moral of the story is that it is an MMO, so missed showers, starving babies and/or internet trash talking 10 year olds on their moms Macbook will be inevitable. *NOTE* I just looked it up and this game is not able to run on Mac (surprise!), so let me switch that with “10 year olds on their mom’s Windows XP Gateway.”

4. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Ok so I’ve been avoiding this one because I love Zelda and I have just not had the opportunity to sit down and hash this thing out. I played a few hours only and from that I can tell you the controller style is very different but it works with the game-play. I thought it was going to be annoying, as my hand cramped the first time I played – that could also be from the only time I’ve exercised in 4 years – but it turned out really interesting and allows for more movement and interactions, with direct control over your Skylofts and Link.

The art style is also different, like a mix of some kind of water colour painting, cell shading, and a Dr. Seuss book, but I welcomed the new art style as even though I was apprehensive with The Wind Waker, it turned out to be an amazing addition to the series.

The music and game-play is also enticing, the locales are expansive, and are very adverse for newcomers. I was lost in the forest a few times until I got the hang out it, but the areas are beautifully designed and gives Link the feeling of ultimate non-linear exploration, even though the game is more linear than an MMO. Overall I’m excited to play it more, and I think it will be a great game for a great series.

3. Batman: Arkham City

Now, I played Batman: Arkham Asylum so I feel that I’m qualified to write this review. I actually also watched someone play Arkham City for a few minutes so I’m pretty sure I will rock this shit.

So basically: you’re Batman. Already you’re not off to a great start but whatever. Looks like some villains are HOLY SHIT loose in Arkham City and guess the fuck what? You get to round them up like some kind of black silicon-suit sheepdog. So I’m pretty sure Joker is the main villain, voiced by Luke Skywalker as per usual. The game received some pretty high praise and I think that’s mostly due to the fact Mark Hamill is lending his voice. That or the bloody knuckles Batman is posing with on the box art.

I also hear you can beat the game again with Catwoman, or at least play as Catwoman for a few levels. That seems pretty cool. There’s also joker related challenges or objects you collect to provide a game longevity it would otherwise not have. As someone who has a Batman t-shirt and heard the hype about this game, I’m sure it’s probably good, at least better then Duke Nukem.

2. Duke Nukem Forever

Speaking of, this game is the latest installment from an old school series about a violent, asshole type douchebag who hates women and loves cigars. He likes to fight and shoot up people, aliens, and you know, women.

He kind of reminds me of that cartoon guy, Johnny Bravo. Johnny Bravo or a really old G.I. Joe, only less hair gel and more orgies. Less hair gel because the natural state of his 50 year old hair line makes keeping hair on his head an impossibility, and likely because he has more hair on his back than a Direwolf, to make up for it.

Also he kind of reminds me of a guy I used to date for that reason.

“He was like a wolf?”

“He was like a dog.”

Woof.

1. Skyrim

This game gets #1 spot on my reviews of games I never actually played, because even my non nerdy friends are playing it. I heard about Oblivion- I heard about it so many times a few years ago, how it possessed the people playing it into some kind of Mountain Dew filled coma with expansive RPG landscape and story of assassins or something.

Now all I hear are “arrow to the knee” jokes and how many brooms you have collected. All the YouTube videos on how to steal from shopkeepers by putting buckets over their head, how you can absolutely own a fucking dragon with your sword, run your horse off a cliff, and other really amazing design and art details included. I’ve heard the art actually changes as the day progresses in-game, and how every stone has texturing, every puddle has an accurate AI reflection, every tree has individual bark lines, and how all the landscapes are reminiscent of something out of a dream – more realistic than any photo from Ansel Adams.

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, it reminds me of Black and White by Lionhead Studios, which is the first game I ever heard of that had this implemented. Lionhead Studios eventually followed up with one of the greatest reaction games every sold – Fable – where every choice has a consequence and every consequence a choice.

I’m actually very interested in picking this up due to the overwhelming hype surrounding it, and the quirks that make it unique, such as horses beating down dragons trying to save you, or your maid/house keeper playing a role in your adventure by accident. Hopefully I will be able to set aside 2 years of my life in order to commit to this game, as I once did with World of Warcraft. I was going to buy it for my PS3 but then I got an arrow to the knee.

Happy Holidays from Clover Quips

Once signed up, gamers input their zip code and define the radius they’re willing to travel to meet fellow traders. By building a ‘have’ list of the games they’re willing to trade and a ‘want’ list of what they’re currently seeking, the trading process is streamlined to its most efficient, as users are presented with ‘swapportunities’ arranged by proximity when they click on a desired title.

Gamers who are so inclined can declare that they’ll consider any offer, and since each game is assigned a monetary value (apparently by an algorithm that searches “prices across the internet and retail”) gamers can rest assured they are getting a fair deal. If you just want to browse through what’s in your area, that feature is available too and can be filtered by platform and genre.

Anonymity is always a concern when arranging commerce on the internet so users are encouraged to use their real names (with the option of initializing their surname), can choose whether to disclose their cell-numbers when arranging trades and build an eBay-style rating from community feedback. Swap-locations are arranged in coffee shops and other public places, which should palliate any fears of stranger-danger.

That’s about it in its current iteration, an elegant trading solution that’s totally free. So what’s in it for Waygoz? When quizzed on the business model at the launch event, co-founder Jean-Paul Rehr pointed to the growing games industry (over US$60bn yearly worldwide), and the US$3bn used-game market, as well as the value that an engaged group of core consumers present – both in terms of serving personalized ads, and the wealth of marketing data that such a site will generate.

He was coy on when the next major milestones will be coming down the pipeline, but a greater suite of social tools has been announced, allowing discussions, messaging and a Twitter-style ‘feed’ of all the users and games that a user decides to follow. I’d be surprised if we don’t see some direct-sales on the site (they’re collecting too much price-data to not plan on leveraging it, and at the launch event they had the infrastructure in place to process credit and debit cards when selling Modern Warfare 3).

As far as startups go, Waygoz come across as rather hubristic (As the above graphic illustrates), placing GameStop squarely in their crosshairs in many of their promotional materials, imploring gamers to “Stop being ripped off” by them. They’re picking a fight with a goliath, but I’d like to see the little guy with the slingshot hold his own. Waygoz have a great idea and solid software behind it, all they have to do now is get the attention of a critical mass of gamers to make this service a viable one.

I’ve always kind of been a square peg in a round hole when it comes to fitting in with certain groups. I have lots of girlfriends who do not understand my geek side, and several male friends who never quite grasped how geeky I actually was. Going through life doing geeky things like installing my own RAM, spending 16 hours playing Final Fantasy and blowing off boyfriends for the newest Zelda release allowed me to experience many stereotypes and mythologies about women geeks. I’m here to dispel and explain the most common ones.

1. There is no such thing as a girl geek, only girls who like geeky things

While researching this article, I was told that some men think that girl geeks are an enigma, an ungraspable breeze in the wind of life, and those girls who actual like nerdy things (Ex: Star Wars) are not nerds per se, but just women who happen to like things deemed nerdy. Basically liking geek things doesn’t make women ‘geeks’.

This is a confusing double standard. Take Star Wars fan #1. They own all the Blu-Ray discs of every single movie (yes, even the bad ones), every single release, every single special collector’s edition, and all the special feature extras. They own plushies, lightsabers, go to Comic Con, dream of meeting George Lucas, and quote the movie. Would it matter if I told you that the geek in question was a man or a woman? It wouldn’t. You would classify this person as a geek, regardless of whatever untouched sexual organs they boast (or don’t boast, you know – whatever).

Food for thought: Would you consider a pro football player who looked like a model a geek if he played Magic: The Gathering? Would you call a Victoria’s Secret model a geek if she watched Firefly? If it’s only one area of geekiness, is it less geek-cred than those who have multiple geeky hobbies?
The truth is, the label geek is self-administered but it’s bolstered by those in your geek community. Any girl can be a geek if she likes socially deemed ‘geek’ things and attributes to the geek culture by indulging in such. AKA buying the movies, talking about Han Solo online, debating the Pokémon starting line ups, or arguing over the notion Batman is not a real super hero (he’s not). If you enjoy nerdy things, and have knowledge of these things in more than a surface value, then you are a geek, no matter what shape your Green Lantern undies come in.

2. Girls pretend to be geeky or lie about their geekiness to seem cute or cool

Being a geek is a personal lifestyle: no longer is it a slur or considered name calling. Being a geek is a personal statement one makes when they identify with a certain culture. Once a very identifiable minority, geeks are no longer visibly detected species, which means I don’t have to wear coke-bottle glasses to be considered as such. This has ushered in a new era for geeks to embrace their geekdom, and is no longer a shameful secret, but more of a bragging right.

As women are apparently harder to come by in the geek-world, the notion that female nerds are scarce has ultimately significantly raised their value. Some men think girls see this as an opportunity to play the role of ‘Queen of the Nerds’, which they can brag and claim they are really nerdy so that the nerd men gather around them and give them attention.

While this may be true in some cases, it’s easy to pick out a fake geek. Talk to them about it. With social media, the interwebz, and tons of forums it’s easy to pick up memes or information on things without having an obsession hanging behind it. I’ll admit I was never into comic books, I was never that kind of person, but that hasn’t stopped me from googling all the DC and Marvel characters to learn more about them. I could go around Twitter and claim I’m a huge comic book fan, or how much I love certain super heroes, and I bet I would fit in with people having conversations about it, but if a real comic book geek started a conversation with me about it, it wouldn’t be long before I’d be like “What do you mean Baine killed Batman?!” (Er, spoiler alert?)

I once talked to a girl who claimed to love video games. She was a hard core gamer she said, and she played all the awesome games out there. As a gamer myself, we struck up a conversation and naturally my focus went to The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, a video game staple for any self proclaimed geek or gamer. I made a reference about the Water Temple (anyone who has EVER played this game will know exactly what I mean) and she didn’t understand the joke. The water temple is considered one of the hardest dungeons in the series, let alone the game (arguably in video game existence!), and I knew right away she either didn’t do the dungeon herself, or she never played the game. You may as well have taped a big scarlet letter onto your coat.

So yes girls like this exist, but they are easily distinguishable from the real geeks once you ask something that wouldn’t be written on the back of a box or in the first few paragraphs of the Wikipedia page.

3. Girls who are geeks or gamers are ugly and can’t get a boyfriend

This is a classic stereotype that has been proven false time and time again. Like I mentioned, geekdom is a new era, and with web 2.0 it’s easier to meet those of your own kin then it has ever been before. I can go online and register for a Battlestar Galactica community and meet someone with the exact same interests as me and we could end up dating. It’s easy to label girls as a certain type when they have been portrayed in the media as unattractive, socially inept, and gross. Or the opposite: drop dead gorgeous and a fake geek for attention. “Wow she’s gorgeous and she claims to pwn mad n00bs in World of Warcraft! She’s a dream come true!”, when in actuality she signed up for the 10 day free trial, got to level 10 and died repeatedly in Mulgore by an Ornery Plainstrider.

I’ve met tons of gorgeous gamer girls; they really aren’t as few and far between as the media makes them out to be. They are everywhere; they are playing TF2 with you, they are in your comic book store, they are in the game store buying games, or in the library brushing up on her chemical history. Working in the industry, I worked with and had networks full of gamer and geek women, and the majority of these women are beautiful and amazing people. The same is to be said with geek guys, no longer a shielded basement troll; the majority of geeks live a functioning life that involves social interaction. These folks all have or had boyfriends, husbands, wives, and partners, and leave behind stereotypes that women who play Pokémon have moss growing in their who-ha.

4. Women gamers aren’t very good

If I told you person A went to school to be a nurse, graduated, and is now practicing in the field, would you assume I was talking about a man or a woman? Gender stereotypes are rampant in every field, not just the tech and geek ones. If I told you that men don’t know how to cook as well as women, is that something you would agree with? If I asked you if female doctors are as smart as males, would you refute that fact?

In all fairness, stereotypes still exist, and sadly a lot of them revolve around women not measuring up to men in some form or another. Due to a few bad examples or random happenings, women cannot seem to climb out from underneath the rock known as “not as good as men”, specifically in the video game world, like somehow having a vagina decreases your HP by 9000.
I know women who play as much FPS as men, and can kick your ass in any game you put in front of them. Of course, I know men like this too. Realistically it’s not gender based, but skill based. It’s not “I am a man therefore I am better at video games” but “I have practices while I should have been at prom and have gained a skill at them.”

One time I went to my friends UFC party where two main guys were set to kick the shit out of each other. As you can tell, I’m very well versed in the subject. So beforehand, there was a group of maybe 7 of us all gathered around a huge TV, and someone suggested putting in a UFC game before we watched the fight. My friend’s brother (22 years old) was there and was challenging everyone to a UFC match. He beat a few of my friends and I was asked to give it a try even though I had never played the game in my life and was not really interested, but I agreed. I ended up knocking his ass out in the first 15 seconds, Ali vs. Liston style.

Basically you can argue gender equally until you’re blue in the face, the fact of the matter is having a penis does not make you better at something than I am. Geek women are just as plentiful, just as good, just as talented and interested in the culture and community as anyone else. What people should be doing instead is admitting the fact the face of the game has changed, and no longer are geeks banished to their caves, only to scurry out of sight once their moms turn the basement lights on, but are embracing the terminology and community that comes with being a geek.
Geeks know they are geeks – nobody else can label them. The community is ever-growing and with the connotation of the traditional word changing, it appears that everybody wants in on the geek culture. Jocks who play football by day and Modern Warfare 3 at night, programmers who are turning their ideas into the next big hit, business men changing into their Batman shirts at home, and hipsters searching for the most obscure game titles; don’t worry, you’ve probably never heard of them.

Sometimes it really is hip to be square.

Quick! Steal this podcast before SOPA becomes law!

Skyrim’s sales in the first 48 hours vs MW3

Why Skyrim Is Horrible for the Economy

2011 VGA’s

Last of Us World Premiere

That Thing is Operational! Kevin’s PSN Network article.

The Black Baron’s Rant Against Spike TV

The Legend of Zelda – The Legend of Zelda’s 25th anniversary artwork time-lapse

MW3 Dev gets teabagged at VGA’s

George Takei is the Broker of Star Peace

G.I. Joe Retaliation trailer

Assassin’s Creed: Beautiful Lies

SOPA Stop Online Piracy Act

Master Grief

Corridor Digital

Brush With Death

Drawn By Pain

Status Kill

The full list of games has also been released. Joining the previously announced Mario Kart: Super Circuit, Mario vs Donkey Kong, Metro Fusion, Super Mario Advance 3: Yoshi’s Island and WarioWare Inc Mega Microwaves will be Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones, F-Zero: Maximum Velocity, Kirby & the Amazing Mirror, The Legend of Zelda : The Minish Cap and Wario Land 4.

Hopefully we’ll see an early Christmas present announcement from Nintendo in the coming days to confirm the release date of these titles for those us in Canada and the US.

Big explosions and disaster porn. It’s what Call of Duty titles are all about these days!

Metro Xbox 360 Dashboard

Rabbids

8-bit Memories

Portal gun sounds

OnLive

Gundam

Halo

Waygoz

Nvidia offers Batman: Arkham City

Kevin’s crazy videocard

Limited edition GTX 560 Ti 448 Core

Backwards flying dragon

Starship Troopers Remake

Lego Death Star

Sakura-Con

 Luke takes a pic right after he learns this girl is 15 years old

And build it they did. Sporting a fuel-injected Suzuki 996cc engine, the motorcycle is made from a steel frame covered by a fiberglass exterior to give the vehicle the proper high-gloss look. This is topped off with a bright OLED light tape that shines a bright luminescent blue that leaves a slight light trail during night driving. The Light Cycle is so fast in fact that it can zoom along at a top speed of over 190 kph! The vehicle design is impressive enough that Evolve Motorcyles have also developed an all-electric version of the bike dubbed the Xenon.

Both versions retail for a hefty $55, 000 price tag. Start saving your quarters.

This is no coincidence, as Microsoft also revealed the Metro UI as the inspiration for the upcoming Windows 8 OS earlier this year. Metro as a style focuses primarily on large, clear lettering and a tile based UI that forgoes bulk and flair to focus on the content itself. Bringing this design style to the Xbox is just next step in creating a unified UI for all of Microsoft’s products and is a good indication of what the new Start Menu will look like when Windows 8 launches.

In addition to the visual overhaul, the Fall Update will further cement the Xbox 360 as a multimedia device to dominate the living room by providing easy access to a plethora of free video content provided through YouTube, Crackle and Dailymotion. There a few paid services available as well, such Rogers on Demand and Microsoft’s own Zune service in addition the already accessible Netflix. Microsoft also promises to release more channel partners over the coming months as it continues to grow the service. The new UI fully supports Kinect control and provides a Bing powered voice search that will scan through all the associated applications to find whatever media content you are looking for.

Rounding out the upgrades, Xbox Live profiles are now going to be stored in the cloud. Instead of having your profile and game saves stored locally on the hard drive, you can now easily access that data from a friend’s Xbox or on a new console if you happen to be one of the many people upgrading to the slimmer models introduced last year. Look for more updates from Microsoft soon as the company as hinted at a greater expansion of services for Xbox Live Gold subscribers in the future.

I’m 13 years older than my youngest brother, an avid twelve year old gamer – and I can’t help but compare the games that we were weaned on. When I’m feeling particularly uncharitable, I tell him that games nowadays are so disposable. Goldeneye 007 was the ultimate console shooter in my day, and when I compare it to his experience playing the Call of Duty franchise, I feel a little saddened, because it exemplifies the different way we engage with our videogames.Calling games ‘disposable’ might seem a bit bold, but hear me out. Gamers of the past were more inclined to obsess over their games for months at a time (often for lack of choice). Modern games have narratives at the front and centre, which limits their replayability somewhat. Epic as the ‘holy-shit’ moments in a tightly-scripted linear shooter can be the first time around, it loses the appeal very quickly on repeat playthroughs. Goldeneye 007 offered 20 levels that were each like a sandbox to goof around in, bookended with a few seconds of unobtrusive (skippable!) cutscenes.

Even the modern games that don’t offer narratives are undermined by the introduction of achievements. Once I got the full 200G playing Pac Man Championship Edition DX, I found I had less incentive to go back to it, since I could be earning points with another game. The arbitrary number convinced me that I was ‘finished’ with it. Without this prompt, I surely would have spent many more hours chasing ghosts around a neon-maze.

Now that games can offer such incredible fidelity, they’re more demanding on the senses. Many games relay important information to the player through sound cues, constant dialogue, and dynamic shifts in music. One effect that this has is that the single-player gamer is far less sociable. You were much less likely to be shushed by a gamer in 1993 than you are in 2011, because the bleeps and bloops were rarely integral to the experience. In my life, this meant less evenings hanging out in front of the TV with friends, passing the controller back and forth. Now my little brother learns all about racial slurs and lady-parts on Xbox Live.Don’t think for a second that I’d dare dismiss the bleeps and bloops, however, as I’m of the opinion that videogame scores have lost that je ne sais quoi since they started to sound like standard Hollywood fare. The reviews I read in my youth would typically break down a game into ‘Graphics’, SFX’, and ‘Gameplay’ – with fewer elements, it only makes sense that the impact of each would be far greater. Consider The Super Mario Bros. theme tune. Simple, charming, and perennial. How many games today would get away with repeating the same four tracks for the entire experience? Even in the days of the N64, with more advanced audio-chips, the gamer was often left with scant ambient sfx, affording more attention to the music on offer. Hearing Dam still makes me think about the first time I used an analog stick and prompts an instant influx of nostalgia, every time.

Here’s the thing though; for all the fondness about the component parts of the games of my youth, they’re not as fun to play as I remember. Sentimentality gets the better of me time after time, and I find myself disappointed. Unfair, trial-and-error game-design is rife, clumsy controls frustrate, and the silence of Goldeneye 007’s facilities and runways, broken only by gun-shots and dying grunts is just disconcertingly lifeless once you’ve been spoiled by the rich tapestries on offer today.Videogames are maturing quickly, and to deny the progress made in recent years is to be intellectually dishonest. I’ve come to terms with the fact that the best way to indulge my wistfulness for games of yore is to listen to the soundtracks, and reminisce with fellow gamers about our formative experiences with them, not to revisit them and realize how badly they’ve aged.Even with that concession, I still can’t help but wonder about my little brother. Will he find himself humming the Black-Ops multiplayer-lobby music to himself in ten years’ time? Will he obsess over finding a clean recording of Master-Chief’s shield recharging to use as an SMS alert? Will he catch himself pontificating to his kids about how the magic of videogames is being eroded by whatever technological advantages bring more immersion and realism?

I think that the fundamental difference is that he’s growing up in a time when videogames are big business and everybody is iterating on everybody else’s idea at breakneck pace – back in my day, when something special came along, you had time to savour it.

Sully is Good Game Media’s newest writer and reporter, check out his Bio on the About page

Mike and Jerry, the creative minds behind the long lasting PA comic series first came up with the idea of a children’s charity in November of 2003 when the pair became fed up with the negative stereotype of angry gamers just waiting to snap. The annual fundraiser has grown into it’s own entity over the years, fueled by generous gamers and dedicated volunteers that donate their time and money into making Christmas a very special time of year for the sick boys and girls at over 70 Children’s Hospitals. Breaking the stereotype and showing that gamers just keep giving, Child’s Play has already raised over 1 million dollars this year with a number of fundraising events still to come.

C.J. Katz is Good Game Media’s newest writer and reporter, check out his Bio on the About page

Keep it up guys, remember it’s for the children, hopefully someone doesn’t donate $100 to have you listen to Rebbecca Black, on repeat…

You can win Mario’s Kart if you are a GameStop® PowerUp Rewards™ member as part of the Epic Reward Giveaway™ program. To be eligible for an Epic Reward Giveaway entry, members must make a purchase or trade at their local GameStop or on GameStop.com during the month of December.

Of course since it was West Coast Customs creating the Kart’s we will get to see the build process in an upcoming episode of their reality TV show. I wonder if they will explain how I can equip my own truck with red Koopa Troopa shells, no one would ever cut me off again.

but in real news, Balls 2 That has moved from random hosting to GGM hosting. Hopefully this makes this work right.

So I’ve been writing another Balls2That miniseries for next month, but I’ve been neglecting writing the weekly comics. Like this weeks. Blow job jokes are always alright though right? I’ll do better next time.